Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
