quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
