So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
