watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize