too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Liz is crying about burritos again.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
