i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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