I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
