Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
