If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
