If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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