i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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