I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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