Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize