that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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