physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
