everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize