glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
