Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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