It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
