he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
