It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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