Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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