"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
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