Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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