White coat. Heels.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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