Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
