Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
