No, you can still breathe under the balls.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
