Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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