is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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