shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
