Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just blew my weed a kiss
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
