I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
