i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
