First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
