I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
