So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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