Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Randomize
