This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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