How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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