Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
