pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
