I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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