Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
