i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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