I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Houston, we have a blender
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
