if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I have fence marks all over my body
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
