i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
