Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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