people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
