she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
