Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize