I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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