Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize