David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
