i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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