I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm passing your future prison.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Randomize
