i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
