Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
