....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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